What Would You Hide If The Food Police Raided Your Kitchen?

So, you've been committing crimes against your stomach instead of cooking healthy, nutritious food. Maybe you're thinking that it's not so bad, I mean, what's wrong with eating pre-packaged foods, processed foods, frozen foods, foods with ingredients you can't say, much less spell? What's wrong? Well, it's a crime to treat your body that way! What do you think your body does with all of those ingredients? It's not only unhealthy, I want to know what you think you would do if the Food Police were to catch you committing your crimes.

What would you do?

Well, of course, you would have excuses! Isn't that what we do when we're doing something that we know is wrong? Sure it is! And, I've come up with a list of excuses that the Food Police might hear from you'

The Speeding Excuse:

"Officer, I don't have the time to cook." "I'm in a big hurry!" "It's just quicker and easier to go to the drive-thru."

The Broken Speedometer Excuse:

"Officer, the oven temperature is off, so I can't cook anything." "My oven just doesn't work right and I don't have the right pans." "I just can't cook."

The Impending Event Excuse:

"Officer, It's an emergency, I'm a pregnant woman and I have to get to the drive-thru!" "My kids have basketball tonight and this fast food place is on the way."

I have to tell you that just as with real policemen, none of these excuses would soften the food police. However, there are some changes that you could make to your eating habits that might grant you some leniency from the food police.

If the food police are watching you:

Whole Fruit Breakfast: Eat an apple or your favorite piece of fruit each morning instead of your favorite muffin or other baked goods.

Whole Food Lunch: Instead of walking under the golden arches, if you were seen walking into the grocery store for lunch, returning with a salad, cooked chicken breast, or whole fresh fruit juice, the food police just might look the other way.

Healthy Dinner: If your house is bugged by the food police, you'll want them to hear the sounds of a basic sauté method, the sizzle of a sauté pan, the oven opening and closing and the timer going off.

Cooking and eating more nutritious foods will help you to keep the food police at bay and even if they catch you committing the occasional crime against your stomach, you'll be more likely to have the charges dismissed in open court.